You're All I have
by takecareofyourself
Summary: Set after 1x13, Blair’s world was falling apart and Serena was there to help. One night of wildness changed Blair’s life and the people around her.
1. Chapter 1

All I Have

**Storyline**: Set after 1x13, Blair's world was falling apart and Serena was there to help. One night of wildness changed Blair's life and the people around her.

**Fandom**: Gossip Girl. Chuck & Blair, Nate & Serena, Serena & Dan and Vanessa & Nate

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything; I do not own the chapter's name or the title of the fic. And I would own GG Blair and would never be together with Nate.

**A/N****: **I want to give a big hug to my awesome beta Mia.

**Y**_ou _**A**_re_** A**_ll_ **I** **H**_ave_

**C**_hapter _**O**_ne: _**V**_iva _**L**_a _**V**_ida_

"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need  
to ask permission of other people or society at large.  
When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life."  
**- Geoffrey F. Abert.**

As Blair was driving the car, she needed to focus on the highway, but all she thought about was Nate breaking up with her. Her world was falling apart but Serena had promised to be there for her, and Blair was stupid enough to believe her. Serena's way of Blair to feel better was to do something crazy, and well there they were, Blair driving Bart's brand new car and Serena sitting next to her.

"Isn't this great, aren't you feeling great?" Serena kept asking.  
"No! This is crazy, we can get arrested. What does cabbage patch think about this?"  
"He doesn't know and you're not telling him, and how can we get arrested when we have driver licensees?" she asked.  
"Yes but this isn't our car, we are going to get into so much trouble," Blair pointed out and left Serena annoyed.  
"Just shut up and drive, Blair," she hissed and turned up the volume.  
_**  
1 hour later **_

"Serena van der Woodsen?"  
"Yes this is me," Serena answered still shocked.  
The police sat down next to her, "Can you tell me what happened?"  
Serena was so lost but she had to tell him, "I forced Blair to drive the car; I took the car from my mother's fiancé Bart Bass," the police stopped her.  
"So you stole the car?" he asked but Serena didn't have time to answer.  
"No she didn't, she asked me if she could borrow it," Bart said standing next to her.

Serena looked back at Bart saving her once again and then she looked at Chuck, he had lost all the color in his face.

**Spotted S getting her ass saved again by her new dad, what will lonely boy think about this?  
Xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl**

"I came as soon I heard," Dan said and hugged Serena.  
"I'm sorry," she cried out loud, and he brought her closer.  
"Its okay, have you heard anything about Blair?" he asked.  
"No they won't tell us anything; Eleanor is chasing the doctors," she answered.

Chuck had been with Erik when it happened, he knew that Serena hated the idea of them being siblings but Chuck liked the idea of being Erik's big brother. He would teach him how to be a true Bass, the perfect family.

"What are you doing here?" Chuck asked looking at Nathaniel.  
"Serena called me. Why are you here?" he asked back.  
"Not for the same reason that you're here, I'm here for Blair," Chuck replied.  
"And you think she wants to see you?" Nate asked coldly.  
"Well she'll be happier to see me than she would be if she saw you," he answered but that wasn't true.

The scene kept replaying in his head, the words he told her, the look he gave her. He knew that Blair wouldn't want to see him but he had to see her.

_: Flashback: _

"Let me be more succinct. You held a certain fascination... when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. Now... now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would,"  
_  
: End of flashback: _

"Thinking of more lies to tell Charles?" Nate asked furiously, making Chuck mad.  
"This is your fault, If she doesn't make it, it's your fault," he shouted and pushed Nate over the chair.

Nate fought back; Serena and Dan had to stop them.

"Stop it you two, Blair needs all of us. Nate and I are going to go and get something to eat, Chuck stay with Dan," Serena ordered.  
"Why should I get punished? I didn't do anything?" Dan complained.  
"Dan, not now please," Serena begged and walked away.

Dan sat next to Chuck trying to understand what he was thinking about, the 'Chuck Bass' face was gone and he was the lonely boy now.

"You care about her, don't you?" he asked.  
Chuck turned to face Dan, waiting before answering, "She's a friend."  
"She seems to be more than just a friend," Dan replied.  
"Well she isn't," Chuck said loudly.  
"If you say so,"  
"I say so." Chuck replied angrily.

As Eleanor stood next to the two of them, the doctor came.

"Do you have any news for Blair Waldorf?" she asked.  
"She's going to be okay, she's awake and you can see her. But she has to go to therapy and she may be dealing with some memory loss."  
The world memory loss caught Chuck's ear, "What do you mean?" he asked.  
"She might not remember who she is or who you are. But I don't think it's serious."  
"You don't think it's serious?" Chuck asked angrily  
"She will get her memory back, she just needs time."

Eleanor had spent thirty minutes with her daughter and as she stood and faced Lily and Bart, the tears came.

"She doesn't remember me, she doesn't remember who she is," she said crying, Chuck felt as if his heart was broken in pieces.  
Lily looked at her friend, she couldn't imagine the pain she was feeling, god knows what she would have done if it was Serena that was in that room and not Blair. But than again she had Bart, Eleanor had no one.

"Why don't you and I go home together, I'm sure that Serena will give us any news?" Lily asked and Eleanor agreed.  
But before leaving Eleanor said something, "Charles, Blair wants to see you," she said.  
Nate looked at Chuck, "But I thought you said that she didn't remember?" he asked confused.  
"She doesn't remember, the doctors said that she called you in her sleep," she answered.  
**  
Spotted N, D, and S looking at C without him doing anything wrong. Queen B said C's name in her sleep, am I the only one who smells trouble?  
xoxo, you know you love me  
Gossip Girl.**

Chuck entered the room and watched her lying there peacefully.

"Who are you?" she said when she saw him standing next to her.  
"It's me Blair, Chuck." he answered.  
"Chuck? I remember your name, but I don't know why," she answered.  
"Well it's great that you remember something, and if it happens to me, its better," he laughed.  
Blair laughed as well, "I feel like I should say something mean to you," Blair replied.  
"Ah of course, try your best on me. Just say anything that pops into your head," Chuck challenged her.  
"You're heinous!" Blair blinked in confusion, "That's the first thing that popped up, but why? You seem okay so far."  
Chuck smirked, "Appearances can be deceiving."  
"Do I hate you? Because there are so many things I want to say to you…bad things. Or did you break up with me and break my heart? And then I cried and watched Audrey Hepburn's movies all day long."

Chuck started to laugh, yes it was Blair.

"Why are you laughing Bass?" she asked  
"Because you're Blair," he replied not noticing that she called him Bass.  
Blair looked at him with confusion, "I still don't get. I know that I'm Blair, that's what everyone keeps telling me. What I don't understand is why you keep staring at me, and why the hell you're wearing that scarf all the time?"  
Chuck was serious now, "Hey I try to be nice to you but don't mock the scarf, it's my signature," he replied. "And I do not stare at you."  
"I'm sorry about the scarf. I don't know what came over me and yes, you're staring at me," she replied, "And you still didn't answer my question or questions, are we together?" Blair asked.  
Chuck bit his lip before answering, "No, we are not but I can tell you that we are friends…best friends," he lied.

They used to be friends, best friends, now they were nothing. But a harmless lie never hurt anyone before; let's see what this one does.

"I should let you rest before the doctors yell at me," Chuck said and looked at her.  
"See you are doing it again, staring. Whatever we have I'm sure it's great," she said.  
"Yeah great," he replied and was about to leave.  
"Won't you give me a goodnight kiss?" Blair asked and looked so innocent.  
Chuck put a fake smile on the pretty face of his, "Of course I will,"

He leaned forward to give her a kiss on her cheek as she grabbed his hair and pushed his lips against hers. It felt natural for Blair to kiss Chuck, it was normal for Chuck to get the butterflies every time she touched him; because she was Blair Waldorf.

Blair pushed him away from her, she was feeling so ashamed, "I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that," she apologized.  
Chuck made up yet another lie, "Don't worry, this is how you and I say goodbye,"  
"It is?" she asked.  
"No but we can pretended that it is," he smiled  
"Goodnight Bass," Blair said.  
"Goodnight Waldorf, "he replied and walked out through the door.

The rest was waiting for him in the waiting room.

"Does she remember anything?" Serena asked.  
"No not yet. But she knows that her name is Blair," he answered.  
"Chuck! This isn't the time for jokes," Serena shouted.  
"Fine! She doesn't remember anything. She remembers being a bitch to me, and I told her to we are friends. And I would like to if you all say the same," he replied  
"But you two aren't friends," Nate corrected.  
"I know that smart head. But do you think that knowing that she slept with both us and got dumped by you will make her feel better?" Nate was quiet when Chuck said that. "Didn't think so, you all can go home and sleep,"  
"What about you?" Serena asked.  
"I'll stay here, since she knows who I am. I'll call if there's any news," Chuck replied and they slowly walked away.

**Spotted S and lonely boy realizing that Chuck Bass has a heart after all.  
Xoxo, you know you love me.  
Gossip Girl**


	2. Chapter 2

You Are All I Have

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the show or the characters. I don't even own the title.

**A/N** : Hope you guys like the chapter. I want to thank Beth, my amazing beta. Hug

**Y**_ou _**A**_re_** A**_ll_ **I** **H**_ave_

**C**_hapter _**T**_wo: _Speeding Cars

You worry about how others see you.

What they talk and think about you.

But you're wrong, you should be

worried about how you see and think

about yourself. Because in the end that's

what matters!

-_**Aurora**_.

Chuck heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Charles," Eleanor said once again.

Chuck woke-up in his chair and looked at Blair still sleeping, "Is something wrong?" he asked.

She laughed and replied, "Everything's alright, why don't you go home?"

He had thought about it yesterday, but decided to stay; right now going home and taking a shower was a good idea.

"I think I will, take care," but before leaving he added, "Call me if there's some news."

Eleanor laughed, still surprised of how worried he was, "I will, I promise."

His head was hurting, his back was killing him and, God, he needed a drink. He drove by Victor/Victrola and it only made his heart beat harder. Blair, oh, Blair, she was stuck in his head and her marks were stuck in his heart.

But then again Blair was his best friend, or, well, she used to be. Stupid bottle of whiskey, stupid gossip girl; right… Chuck was where the anonymous tip gossip girl got was from.

Chuck entered Serena's room and unlocked the bathroom, just for some harmless fun.

"CHUCK!" Serena shouted out when she saw him, "What are you doing?"

"Just wanted to say 'Hi' sis," he replied looking at himself in the mirror.

"Ugh Chuck, get out."

"I will… if you say 'Chuck, please,'" he teased.

"GET OUT!" Serena yelled, covering herself.

Chuck walked towards the door, "Just so you know Daniel is waiting."

After finishing the long shower he went downstairs. Serena, Erik and Dan were eating, Lily and Bart weren't there.

"How's Blair," Serena finally asked.

"She's still breathing," he replied and sat down.

"You never cease to amaze me," she replied.

"My pleasure, sis."

Serena hated when he called her sis, while Erik loved being Chuck's brother.

"Are you going back to the hospital?" Serena asked.

"Yes I am, why?"

"Then you can go with us," she smiled.

"Great, can't wait," Chuck answered.

"Awesome!"

Chuck Bass, the man whore from the Upper East Side. Chuck Bass the heart less son of a bitch, changing girls all the time. He was Chuck Bass but he still cared for Blair Waldorf and he still couldn't kill those damn butterflies.

"Where are mom and dad?" Chuck asked to tease Serena.

Erik responded instead of Serena, "They're somewhere,"

"I like that place, I bet they are having fun somewhere," he replied.

"Lily is with the wedding planner and Bart is somewhere," Serena added proudly.

"You know your stuff, sis."

_You are__ all I have._

The rain was falling heavily; the Saturday storm took over the Upper East Side. Chuck Bass had his signature scarf on and waited outside her door.

"Chuck, let's go in, "Serena hissed.

"Fine," he replied acting like he didn't care, but his heart was burning.

Blair was talking to Eleanor when they entered.

"I should go now, "Eleanor said it looked like she was crying.

When she left Chuck took the opportunity to ask what happened.

"She looks sad, what happened?" he asked.

Blair smiled; "No good morning kiss?" then she noticed Serena and Dan.

"Oh I get it, you can't kiss me in front of them," she joked.

Serena gave Blair a hug, "What happened?" she asked and repeated Chuck's question.

"Apparently everything that I will remember from my life today I will forget tomorrow,"

Even Dan was confused now, "What? Is that even possible?"

"Strangely it is. It's called **retrograde amnesia," she explained.**

**"What does this mean, will you ever get your memory back?" Serena asked worriedly.**

**"Maybe, it all depends o****n what Blair wants,"**

**"What Blair wants? I thought you were Blair," Dan responded.**

Chuck still stood there shocked, frozen he couldn't move.

"The doctors are saying that the amnesia can have something to do with something that old Blair doesn't want to remember, so she's blocking the memories," Blair told them and then it hit him.

"So, sex anyone?" Chuck asked, he had to change the subject and sex was the first thing he could come up with.

"You disgust me," Serena added and walked to Dan.

"I'm flattered sis," he replied back.

"Are you two related?" Blair asked confused, looking at Serena and Chuck.

"Yes," Chuck answered while Serena answered "No," at the same time.

"Did you get that?" Blair asked Dan.

"Unfortunately I did," he replied.

"So where's the other guy?"

Serena was confused, "What other guy?"

"The one Chuck here was fighting with yesterday."

_All I can bring you is the language of a lover_

"I'm here," Nate waved.

"Who called him?" Chuck asked mad.

"I did," Serena told him and smiled.

"Don't worry, Chuck, I love you more," Blair replied and smiled.

Nate's face changed colors, "So, when are they letting you go home?"

"Tomorrow," Blair smiled. "Can I talk to Chuck alone, please?" she asked.

All three of them looked at each other, "If that's what you want," Serena said.

"That's what I want."

"Bye, call if you need something," Nate replied with a broken heart.

Chuck walked to Blair and sat on the chair next to her. She gave him the biggest smile ever, the smile Blair Waldorf only can give Chuck Bass.

"So, now that they're gone, can I get my kiss? I'm dying here," Blair said.

Shocked, but thrilled by what she said, Chuck leaned forward to kiss her.

"I've been waiting for this kiss for hours," Blair replied and kissed him again.

Chuck leaned backward, "You seem to like my kisses."

"They are like a drug to my body," she exhaled.

"Wow, my ego is huge now," Chuck admitted.

"Really? I didn't think it could get any bigger."

"That's funny," he said. "You look nice."

"Really, I feel like shit."

"You look great all the time," he answered.

"So… thank you for reading for me."

"You heard that?" he asked, surprised.

"I hear everything Bass and everyone," Blair replied.

Chuck Bass was missing Blair Waldorf, and even though she was lying down, next to him he missed the real Blair. The Blair that would talk dirty to him, the Blair Waldorf that would say that she hated him in every language she could.

"Is it okay if go all mean on you again?" she asked.

Chuck lightened up, "Of course,"

"Slept with S yet Bass? You know, like the old times… forcing girls to sleep with you. Or, wait you like young girls, still haven't banged little J?" Realizing what she just said, she felt better for some reason, "I'm sorry Chuck."

"That's fine, I'll reply in the same way," he prepared her. "Are you worried Waldorf? You don't have to; I haven't lost my touch."

Spotted C lying to Queen B. For all I know the last time Chuck got lucky was with B and that was weeks ago.

You know you love me

Xoxo, gossip girl.

"Is it bad for me for feeling great after this?" Blair asked embarrassed.

"No, not all," he replied.

"Good, because I'm not feeling guilty,"

Chuck looked around; it felt like time was standing still, "I should go now,"

"You're leaving already?" she asked with sadness in her eyes.

"I got some stuff to do, but what to say about you and me together at my place?"

"Sounds great, we can ask Serena and Dan to come with us," she smiled.

Great Serena and Dan, Chuck thought. But, if that was what Blair wanted, so be it.

"Awesome, I can tell them to come inside when I leave," Chuck said and walked to the door. Blair had to stop him once again, "You forgot it again, and I need my goodbye kiss,"

"You need all kinds of kisses," Chuck added and went to kiss her.

"See you tomorrow Bass, pick me up at eight o'clock'," Blair demanded.

"Bye Blair,"

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know who lovely you are._

"Chuck, said you wanted to see us," Serena told.

"Yes, do you and Dan want to join us tomorrow?" Blair asked.

Dan and Serena glanced at each other and had the talking-without-actually- talking conversation that only couples can have.

"Are you sure about this Blair? I mean Chuck?" Serena asked worriedly, Dan and Nate agreed with her.

Blair took a long breathe before responding, "Listen, I've figured out that you three don't like Chuck, but I like him. He's the only one that I somehow remember a little, and he makes me laugh. Okay? He's all I have," she yelled with tears rolling down from her eyes.

They looked at each other and at Blair with sympathy, "That sounds great Blair, when and where will we be?" S asked.

"Your place and eight o'clock," she replied, "Nate do you want to join us?"

Nate laughed, "I have a date tomorrow,"

"Should I get jealous? People told me we dated." Blair asked confused.

"You can, but you don't have to," he replied.

Before leaving they all gave her a hug, leaving her alone in the Saturday storm.

_I'm just a singer__ and you're the world_

It seemed like Saturday didn't want to end, but it finally did, giving away the storm to Sunday. Charles was on his way to pick up his queen and Blair was waiting for her prince. Chuck entered the Waldorf residence only to find Blair in her underwear.

"I can't seem to put on my pants," she said embarrassed. "Not only do I not remember anything my left arm is paralyzed, "she complained.

Chuck's Blair was standing in her underwear and he didn't want to have sex with her. Instead he got the butterflies and started to act like 10 year old.

"I'll help you," he said but gave her a kiss first.

"You remembered," Blair smiled.

Chuck laughed and smirked, "How could I forget?" He handed her the headband and watched as she tried to put on the shirt.

"Help?" she begged. "I feel like a child."

"Stop complaining, girls are standing in line to get dressed by Chuck Bass."

"Talking about your self in third person, I'm proud."

"You're my biggest critic," Chuck said. What a déjà vu feeling.

Blair smiled and fixed her lip gloss, "I'm set."

"Let's go," Chuck answered and they walked out.

_I'm in love with a girl who knows me better._

Dan and Blair were looking through the movies to find one to watch, while Serena was making the drinks.

"Sis, where are mom and dad?" Chuck shouted.

"Somewhere," she answered.

"Today again and where's Erik?"

"Out with some friends, why do you care?" Serena smirked.

"You asking," he replied being all defensive.

"I found it," Blair giggled.

Dan didn't look pleased, "Titanic, seriously Blair?"

"What? I don't remember the movie."

Dan faked a smile, "Sure, Titanic it is."

Blair giggled and clapped her hands. "Awesome."

Chuck sat next to Blair and she rested her head on his arm. Dan and Serena kept looking over at them and they pretended not to notice the glancing.

"Would you do it?" Blair asked.

"Do what?" Chuck replied confused.

"Give up your family and the money, all for the person you love?"

"No," he responded leaving the rest waiting for more.

"Really, why not?" Dan asked

"Because I will never get the girl I love," Chuck replied.

Blair's eyes were wide open, forgetting about the movie, "You love someone?"

Chuck started to laugh, "No, and I never will. I'm Chuck Bass. I like my girls in bed, half drunk and gone in the morning."

No one said a thing watching the movie, all was quiet after his confession.

_I want you to know, that with everything I won't let this go._

Serena and Blair fell asleep in Dan and Chuck's arms. He looked at her face; she was like an angel, then picked her up and carried her in his arms.

"What are you doing," Dan asked.

"What does it look like I'm doing Humphrey?

"I don't know you tell me."

Chuck laughed, "The difference between you and me is that I have manners. Instead of letting Blair sleep and spread her legs on the couch like my sis here, I'll lay Blair down in bed," he replied and went upstairs with Blair.

It went hours after Chuck laid Blair down to sleep, but he, on the other hand, couldn't fall asleep. He'd been trying to forget about the news he heard yesterday, about Blair not being able to remember anything for maybe the rest of her life. His own thoughts were driving him insane. He decided to sneak in his own bed, lying on the left side. He put his arm around her and fell asleep like a baby.

And then it happened: Blair hitting him so hard that he fell off the bed and hit his head. Though, she didn't seem to notice it; she moaned and fell back asleep.

Spotted: Chuck Bass falling hard and B still not noticing.

Xoxo you know you love me.

Gossip Girl.


	3. Chapter 3

You Are All I Have

**Disclaimer**: I do not own the characters, the show or the song.

**A/N**: This chapter will be in two parts because I have writers block. This is part One. I didn't have a beta for this chapter so be ready for bad grammar.

Read, review, enjoy.

You Are All **I** Have

Chapter 3: The Scientist. Part One

_Come up to meet you, tell you Im sorry  
You dont know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart  
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh lets go back to the start_

_Coldplay._

Blair Waldorf was confused and shocked when she woke up to the alarm next to Chuck Bass. She pounched his shoulder only to make her self hurt and hear him moan.

"What's wrong?" he grinned, still sleeping.

"What are you doing here? What am I doing here? And what happened to your head?"

Chuk touched the bandage that was attached to his head. "You pounched me so hard in your slep that I fell."

"Of course I did," she laughed. "What normal person sneaks in someone's bed in the middle of the night?"

"Whatever," he pointed out, he was defenitly getting defensive. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought sleeping in my own bed would help."

"Stop being such a baby. Now that explains why you are here, but why am I here?"

"You fell asleep watching titanic, so I carried you upstairs," he explained, still defensive.

"I guess that's okay, right? Aren't you going to be late for school?"

Chuck grinned, almost falling down again. "Right school, you're so lucky."  
Blair smirked half laughing. "Yes, I'm so lucky."

"I didn't mean it in that way…actually I don't know what I mean," he laughed, and she followed.

Spotted C having a girl in his bed without trying to sleep with her. Maybe we didn't know Chuck Bass after all.

XOXO, you know you love me.

Gossip girl.

"You are weird Chuck, do you know that?" she responded, playing with his messy hair. "And if you excuse me I'm going to take a shower."

He put a smile, and a smirk that was hard to figure out. "Do you need help? We can always shower together?"

"Disgusting, and it will be disgusting with or without my memories," she told.

"Fine, but if you fall it isn't my fault."

Blair slowly got up and gave him a kiss. "I thought we were friends…and only friends?"

"Hey! You are the one that keeps kissing me," he teased, waiting patiently for her to respond.

"Get over yourself, Bass. You are not even that good of a kisser."

That comment should have made Chuck mad, defensive even hurt; but it made him smile instead. Blair was still there, she wasn't gone, not yet.

Chuck joined his brother, sister and Dan at the diner table. They had already begun to eat breakfast, and as usually he was late.

"What happened to your head?" Serena immediately pointed out.

Chuck sat on the empty set. "I had a little accident, thank you for caring sis."

"I don't care, and I'm not your sister," she added angrily.

Erik enjoyed Serena's and Chuck's fights, their fights made them seem more like a family. "What kind of accident?" he asked curiously.

"I was watching a movie," Chuck started, "And I got a little bit too excited," he lied, why did he lie?

"That's disgusting, Chuck. Thanks for sharing," Serena pointed out.

"My pleasure, sis."

Blair walked downstairs, wearing the same clothes she had on yesterday. Joining them she noticed Erik, and she had no idea who he was.

"Hi Blair," Erik waved.

Blair looked at him, trying to figure out who he was. She sat next to Chuck, just like planned.

"Hey! You."

Erik smiled; he was still amazed that Blair Waldorf didn't recognize him. "I'm Erik, Serena's brother."

"Right, I should have known that," she added sadly.

Serena noticed the sadness, the confusion and she changed the subject. "So did you hear what happened to Chuck?"

Chuck chuckled, wondering what Blair would reply. "Yes, and I would have done the same thing," she said.

Erik busted into laughter's while Dan and Serena looked confused at Blair.

"Really?" Erik teased.

Blair took her glass of juice and replied. "Yes, wouldn't you? If I couldn't sleep I would do it."

The laughter's gave her the impression that they didn't talk about the same thing, because why was sleeping, just sleeping with someone that funny? Chuck moved closer and whispered what he had told the rest, aha now she got it.

"No Chuck, I don't want to have a threesome with you and Nate," she hissed. "Boys," she replied and looked at Dan. "You understand what I mean, Humphrey. "

Dan looked at Serena before responding. "No, should I?"

"Well, you know….the sexual tension you have with Chuck," Blair answered.

_Yes, _Erik defiantly liked this Blair better, she was so much better than old Blair. Dan made an irritating sound, pretending like he didn't hear what she said; if someone had sexual tension it was Nate and Chuck. Blair placed her hand under the table, touching Chuck's leg. He did notice this but no one else did, as they continued with their morning routine.

"So Chuck, tell me what movie did you watch?" Blair asked, placing her hand higher. Chuck found it harder to breathe and he let out a small moan.

"I watched…I watched," he tried, but Blair continued.

She took her hand under his pants and made him shiver. He spilled his glass of juice making a mess at the table.

"God, Chuck," Serena complained. Blair took this like an opportunity to go home.

"I'm not feeling so good; I think I will go home. Nice seeing you all," she excused herself.

Serena gave her friend a hug, while Erik and Dan waved goodbye.

"My house, don't make me wait," she whispered in Chuck's ear before leaving.

Chuck looked at her, she was more alike the old Blair that morning.

"I'm going over to V/V."

Erik smirked. "What about school."

"I almost forgot, thank you little brother. I'll call and make something up," Chuck replied.

"Have a nice day Daniel, and take care of my sister," he added before leaving.

Serena made a disgusting look, why didn't he stop calling her sister_?_

Blair didn't know why she acted the way she did, or told what she had told. Being around Chuck made both the old and new Blair, act like some horny teenager. And right now she couldn't wait to kiss him.

As he opened the door to her room Blair pulled him down on the bed. The pain of her right arm was killing her, but being away from Chuck was killing her as well.

"I thought we are only friends, I thought this was disgusting," Chuck tried, but Blair cut him off.

"No talking and more kissing."

He started to kiss her passionately, pulling her to him.

"I don't know what I'm doing, but I want to," Blair repeated. She started to feel more pain in her arm.

"Blair, are you alright?" Chuck asked worriedly.

"I'll never be more alive…well more alive than I can remember, "she laughed.

Spotted, Chuck Bass convincing a girl not to have sex with him, maybe B was right after all. The sexual tension between C and D is noticeable.

XOXO, you know you love me

Gossip Girl

Blair pulled him closer with help of his scarf, kissing his neck and grabbing his hair.

"I can't do this," Chuck told, removing Blair from him.

Blair's eyes were surprised. "Why?"

"Because I actually care for you," he hissed and left.

And there she was, alone, horny and dumped by the horniest guy in the Upper East Side.

_**Oh let me take you back to the start;**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: Here we go again, yada, yada, yada. I don't own GG.

**A/N**: I suck at updating, and I'm so sorry.

Read & Review. :D

Thanks to my amazing beta Mia.

CHAPTER 3: The scientist part 2.

_**Please don't leave me all a l o n e.**_

_**This isn't my place this isn't my h o m e.**_

_**Take care of my mother, tell her I l o v e d her.**_

_**Spend all my money with someone you l o v e.**_

_**Forgive my past and forget my d r e a m s.**_

_**I had a love once, but he's nowhere to be f o u n d.**_

_**- Aurora.**_

Her mother called five times, five freaking times**. **She told her the same thing over and over again. _"Yes, I know that you're sorry. Yes, Eleanor. No, Eleanor. Yes, I remember that I have to go the therapist in an hour. Bye, Eleanor."_ She wasn't able to call her mom, she wasn't HER mom. She was Blair's mom and she wasn't Blair. Blair tried to forget about what happened with Chuck**;** how he made her realize that she wasn't Blair. The real Blair would never do what she had done; the real Blair would have had Chuck blown away.

She wasn't Blair Waldorf so she was slowly making new memories, sincethe old ones were gone. And then she wondered why she only could feel Chuck, why he was the closest to Blair Waldorf. Thinking of Chuck Bass made her sad, thinking of Chuck Bass made her heart hurt, and it shouldn't. According to everyone, Blair was in love with Nate but she could feel it in her heart that she wasn't. Her head was in love with Nate but her heart was Chuck Bass'. And it hurt her because she wasn't Blair Waldorf.

**All that is worth cherishing in this world begins in the heart, not the head.**

- Suzanne Chazin

Blair stepped into the thearpists office and sat down; she then looked around the white, cold room.

"You must be Blair, I'm Angela."

"I'm not Blair," Blair responded.

Angela looked at her surprised. "Then, who are you?"

"I don't know. I just know that I'm not Blair Waldorf."

As Blair played with her hair, Angela wrote something in her book.

"I understand. Why do you think you feel that?"

Blair was getting annoyed now, "You understand? Forgive me, but, I don't think you can** imagine** how it feels for me. How can you sit there and say that you understand me? I don't know who I am, I don't remember ANYTHING, and if I remember, I'll forget about it the next day. I'm making new MEMORIES in Blair Waldorf's body, but this isn't me, this isn't who I am. I'm stuck with these new memories inside of Blair Waldorfs body," she screamed, getting all of her anger out.

"Blair, I'm trying to help you. I know that it's hard for you but we need to know what memory or memories are blocking your recovory."

"Don't call me Blair, it sounds weird."

"What do you want me to call you?"

"Audrey," Blair responded.

"Like in Audrey Hephurn?"

"It's not like I know who that is, but yes."

They talked about everything in one hour; Audrey got tired and wanted to escape the craziness. She was creating a new person, Blair was gone _**forever**_ now. She was Audrey now but she missed being Blair.

Outside she saw Chuck infront of the limo, he smiled at her. She didn't smile at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take you out for dinner," he smirked.

Audrey laughed. "I'm not going anywhere with you."  
"Blair, you surprised me this morning, let's start over."

"My name isn't Blair and I have no idea what you are talking about," she confirmed.

"Your name might be different but you sound like Blair."

Audrey smiled or it was Blair that smiled? The smile came from inside, not her head, but her heart. She continued to look for the limo. She could have sworn that she told the driver to pick her up. She then looked at Chuck, who was smiling, and she knew that it was his work.

They sat in the limo, inches apart.

"So, what's your name?" he asked.

"Audrey."  
He laughed. "Blair always thought she was Audrey."

"Yes, well, I'm not Blair Waldorf anymore."

"Why not?" he asked, looking rather confused.

"You wouldn't understand, nobody does. All I know is that I'm not Blair."

Chuck looked at for a while then he stopped looking and he moved closer to her. She was surprised by this.

"You're Blair Waldorf," he whispered in her ear.

It was hard for her to breathe, she was slowly losing control. "No I'm not."

"You'll always be Blair Waldorf."  
"Stop saying that," she cried. His hand grabbed her leg and he moved closer to her.

"Say it, I know you want too," Chuck begged.

Blair fought the words that were coming out anyways. "Let me be more succinct. You held a certain fascination... when you were beautiful, delicate, and untouched. Now... now you're like the Arabian my father used to own. Rode hard and put away wet. **I don't want you anymore, and I can't see why anyone else would**."

Blair hated Chuck for making her relive that moment, the moment when she lost all hope, all her wishes and strength. The moment that made her not care about that little Miss Jenny Humphrey stole everything from her, because everything wasn't anything without him. She thought they would share a couple drinks, plot against Jenny and be like_** before**_. When they were best friends, when they were Chuck and Blair, before when they didn't hate each other.

"Since when?" Chuck asked, he sounded angry.

"Since talking to the therapist."

He stared at her. "So why are you here? I'm not your favorite person, Blair."

"Nate hates me, Eleanor is away, Serena is with Dan, and_**you're all I have**_left."

"But what if I don't want you?" Chuck asked.

Blair swallowed his painful words. "Just get me drunk or something, I'll forget about it all tomorrow."

"It's never just drinks with you," he said.

"Of course not, I want something to eat too," she joked and laughed, he laughed too.

She missed this, his laugh, her laugh, their laughter's together. She missed him, more than she would admit. And though everything was still black and white, Blair knew that she always loved _**Nate.**_

"I never knew that Blair Waldorf could be funny," he teased. He was slightly happy that she was back.

"Well, Blair Waldorf is still hungry."

He didn't laugh this time, he returned to his normal smirk. "Why me Blair? Why am I the only one you have?"

"I don't know, do you think that I want you to be the only one I have? I didn't decide this Bass; this wasn't MY choice, because if it was my choice I would be with Nate, not in a limo with you."

And then he laughed, it was an honest laughter, it wasn't fake. He laughed and she stared, he laughed and her world slowly fell apart again.

"Yes you are definitely Blair."

"How come?"

"You're still stuck in some old fantasy of yours. Nate never visited you after you got home from the hospital, not once. He didn't send you gifts, your favorite chocolates and flowers. He wasn't the one that got his head hurt when you pushed him, or the one that carried you upstairs when you fell asleep. It wasn't Nate, it was me. It was me who did all those things. And yet you are still stuck and determined to get Nate back."

Blair blinked in and planned her come back. "No, you didn't visit me, you didn't buy me gift, you didn't carry me anywhere, what you did was to lost her memory Blair. Me you called a slut, it was me that you broke down. So I'm sorry that I don't give an f*ck what you do to lost her memory Blair."

The limo stopped and they both sat still, both silent, lost in their thoughts.

"Where are we?" she finally asked.

"You said that you are hungry, well you can eat here," he said and stepped outside.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

Chuck looked like he was going to kill her. "I don't care, you're still eating."

"No I will not," Blair refused.

"Fine, you don't have to eat." Oh yes, he was definitely mad now.

He held the door open for Blair to come in, once in the limo Blair put an innocent look.

"What?" Chuck asked.

"I'm hungry."

Chuck was mad, she knew that he was. He tried to resist the anger that was taking over. "Not my problem."

Blair nodded, god, she just wanted out from the limo, out from him. "Yeah, of course not," she mumbled.

**She**__closed her eyes and pretended to be with Nate, he would have his strong arms around her, and she would wrap herself onto him. They would watch some old romantic movie, probably a movie with Audrey Hepburn. Blair could feel the warm feeling with Nate's arms around her; she could smell his old but yet good smelling perfume. And there was now, sharing a limo with Chuck Bass, the guy that deflowered her, the guy that used to be her best friend.

"We're here," Chuck informed.

It wouldn't matter if Blair lost her memories or not, she would never forget a place like Brooklyn, which was why she was surprised that Chuck brought her there.

"Brooklyn, what are we doing here Bass? Are you going to kill me?" she asked furiously. "Oh god, you're going to kill me."

"No one is killing anyone. Plus, I don't hate you that much that I would actually let you die in Brooklyn."

"Well that's alwayssomething. What are we doing here?" she asked impatiently.

"You'll just have wait and see Waldorf," Chuck insisted.

Blair followed him, god she didn't want to follow him. "If you kill me, I'll haunt you. I'll make your life a living hell."

"So you're saying that when you die it will be the same as when you were alive?" he laughed. "You're already making my life a living hell."  
Blair smiled proudly. "I know."

They entered the art gallery, Blair knew it. Dan's dad worked there and Serena had brought Blair with her. She followed Chuck's every movements, followed his breath. And there they were at the rooftop. Blair was stunned by what she saw, and in that moment she didn't want to be with Nate, she wanted to there with Chuck.

"You said that you were hungry," Chuck said.

Blair still couldn't imagine that he had done this for her. She looked at the table with candles, the empty place with blankets and champagne and she was blown away.

"Chuck Bass is a romantic, who knew."

He looked at her peacefully. "Now you do, and that's all that matter."

Blair smiled taking a seat, she was feeling so undressed. Chuck kept asking her for more champagne, he was so trying to get her drunk. Blair couldn't believe that she was having a romantic dinner with Chuck Bass.

"How's the burger?" he asked.

"It has too many calories, but other than that it's good."

Chuck laughed. "Blair you're the skinniest girl I know, you have the weight of a 14 year old, and I don't think little calories would make any difference."

That was the first compliment Chuck had given Blair, she felt good, she felt b e a u t i f u l. Sure, her mom had told her how beautiful and skinny she was, but never like this. And Nate had given her compliments when she asked for them. With Chuck she didn't have to ask, because Chuck just knew.

They took their glasses of champagne with them as they sat down on the blanket. New York was beautiful, every stars could be seen, the world slowed down and it was just the two of them.

"Why me Chuck, you could play with anyone you want? Why me?"

He hesitated before answering. "Because I chose you, and like you said I'm all you have."

Blair laughed, nearly blushing. "How did you know that I was back?"

Suddenly it felt like a quiz, like a game. But then again that was the thing that brought them here; the game.

"Because I know you," he answered. She smiled and changed the subject.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Brooklyn has a nice view," Blair said in disgust.

"Ah don't worry, you'll forget about Brooklyn tomorrow."

He shouldn't have said that, he knew that, it just slipped. He didn't mean to hurt her, and he knew that he had hurt her; he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"Don't be sorry, you're right. I guess that I will have to enjoy Brooklyn for one night."

"Yes, and you could have spent it with Nate."

Blair dreamed away for a while closing her eyes and pretending to with Nate, but she couldn't. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was him, that damn mother chucker. Why didn't he leave her? Wasn't it enough that he broke her? Now he had to take over her dreams? Wasn't it enough that she needed him? When would it ever be enough?

She was still dreaming, eyes shut, still dreaming of him. "Yeah," she mumbled.

"Thank you for today, even though you're still an ass. Even though, I still haven't forgiven you, thank you. I'm happy that you take care of lost her memory Blair. It just bothers me that you're nice to her, while you threat me like dirt."

He moved closer to her. "I don't threat you like dirt you ask to be treated that way. It was you that denied what happened in the limo, and it was you that shut me away once Nate wanted you back."

They were silent again, no words, no sound. His fingers were tangled in her hair, her hand held onto his. Their lips met; he could taste her cherry lip-gloss, he fell on top of her. Blair could taste the blood coming from Chuck's lip, her fingernails marked his back.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. This time he asked because he could see the pain of her arm, and even if the doctor clearly said no sex, Blair never was the one to follow any ones rules.

"Yes," she said and kissed him back.

And no, Blair didn't want to be with Nate, she didn't want to watch a romantic movie and be held with his strong arms. Blair wanted passion, angst and freedom, something that only Chuck could give her. It was nice to know that her last memory as Blair Waldorf was having amazing sex rather than of having watched a movie.

_**It's like the way we fight, the times I've cried **_

_**We come to blows and every night **_

_**The passions there, so it's got to be right,  
Right?**_

When the morning day arrived, the sun shinned so bright over Brooklyn. The naked bodies of Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass spooned together. He had his arm around her and leg around hers. And there they were sleeping like angels, only to know that yesterday was all forgotten. Cold buddies collided as one, the lost memories that would never be found again.

Blair awoke, confused of what had happened. The last thing she remembered was talking to the therapist about not being Blair Waldorf anymore. She looked next to her and tried to resist the pain of her arm. She saw him sleeping deeply; she smiled and looked around her. She lay down next to him again, putting his arm around hers, and then she fell back to sleep.


End file.
